stressed

Uggh, I can't get anything figured out with medicaid. I have no idea WHY we weren't approved for pregnancy medicaid. Of course if you don't call the office right when they open you won't be able to get through any other time and I had to work at the girls school today so I couldn't call. I was hoping the birth center could bill us twice for the whole she-bang but they can't, and except for the blood work, the sonogram, and the actual birth nothing will go over our share of cost. We do not have that much money a month. I had to get my sister to pay $20.00 so Biggest could go on the field trip with her classmates, one of the teachers is covering the cost so the girls can participate in the Spanish heritage meal. I mean it's $10.00 who can't come up with $10.00 AND if I can't come up with that how am I supposed to come up with over $4,000. for the birth?? Yep, I can't. We always joked because of the increasing birth freedom we had as we had each additional child (hospital w/ midwife, birth center w/ midwife, home birth w/ midwife) that if we had a fourth kid it would be an unassisted delivery. Who knows, maybe it will be. I won't make any plans until I talk to medicaid, maybe they just didn't see the paperwork confirming the pregnancy. It seems unlikely, but at some points in the last pregnancy we didn't qualify for food stamps but I still qualified for pregnancy medicaid, this last reapplication they raised the amount of food stamps we got. (Which is totally good because we were spending the last 1-2 weeks with no money for food, eating through the pantry!)
I hate being so broke. Hubs reminded me that I said I would rather be poor then have him travel for work, and it's true...but not this poor. Work is picking up for him so hopefully the pressure will be alleviated. He might just get an actual job and leave his dream of owning his own company behind if we don't start coming out on top more anyway. That would suck I think he can make this company work, he's honest and fair and that's hard to come by in a service person. He's had company's tell him to screw people over. He refused of course, but it's hard on him being in that environment with bosses who don't actually care about the customers. Hopefully medicaid will cover the birth. Oh and I decided to not feel guilty about crying yesterday and being so sad about the money issues. I am strong all the time, I am always looking to the positive side of things and making do, I think I am entitled to a break down every once in awhile.

In positive news I have been feeling the baby move quite a bit, it's a nice feeling. Comforting AND Biggest was so excited when she found out she could go on the field trip thanks to Auntie.