Tuesday, July 26, 2011

planning, logic, and Baby

Hubs had a very logical plan for why we should stay in Florida for now, although still buying a new house. It's a lot more together then my plan and seems to make more sense. I am down with it, I just hope his promise to someday move to Washington will become a reality in less then 10 years. I have trouble conceiving of him walking away from a thriving business to move when he won't walk away from a business that is getting started and just starting to get busy. I really must push him more for how this is possible. My thought was if we are going to be moving and having another baby, and his business isn't thriving or anything now would be a good time to go. He is very much NOT a let's just do it kind of guy, and I am very much a let's just do it kind of girl.

The truth is we can't afford Washington State, we can barely afford, maybe not afford, Florida. Sometimes the only option seems to be to stay in this house, we can afford the mortgage and really even with 4 kids we could make 3 bedrooms work (someday when there are 3 bedrooms again instead of 2) but that leaves no extra space, there is no den, or office, no craft room. There are neighbors on us about all sorts of things and our dreams of farm animals, land, woods, space for the kids. So this house is out despite it's practicality. So onwards towards our dream, but why only half way? How much longer do we wait. If originally we were going to fix up the house and move in 2 years and now it is 9 years later, where does that leave this plan? There are some things I love about Florida, and I do have a friend base here that will be hard to rebuild. I haven't even seen Washington in all it's seasons. I saw summer a few times and winter once.Yet Washington is this place where my soul sores and feels at peace, in Florida I can find beauty, I can find comfort in some things but that's it. My heart is not fully convinced on Hubs plan, but my logical mind says it's the best idea. I must ask more about how much he thinks he will need to work here. I'd love for him to have a normal job, with normal hours but he is very much opposed to it, and someday I hope to have a job with even crazier hours then him. The compromise is dealing with his hours now in agreement that he deal with my hours later. Midwife hours are hard on marriages. Plumber hours are hard on wife's with small children. We have lasted through a lot while still loving fiercely, I believe together we can figure this out and make it work for both of us. I do have to put my doula plans on hold, as with his crazy hours I can't have crazy hours and I will have a baby I won't want to leave for awhile anyway.

On to baby things, I just found out yesterday, and had the pregnancy confirmed at the midwife's today with a due date of April 1, 2012. I actually ran into Littlest's best friend and her mom (who watched Littlest every Monday while I worked at the girls school) at the midwives, so I told her too. Littlest and her best friend were born 2 days apart, they are booby buddies and so damn cute together. Her little sibling is due February 2. So far I have told family and a few friends, and you unread blog. In a way I am itching to tell others because I am so excited, but not yet ready to tell EVERYONE.

I am also disappointed that I have not yet ridden Busch Gardens new roller coaster yet.This happened with Littlest's pregnancy, I rode the coaster anyway but I was so scared the whole time and horrified I'd lose the Littlest after that I just can't do it again. I'll have to wait until after Baby is born.

Oh and I am uber excited about Baby, even though I thought I was totally done having babies. So done I gave every single baby item away. I am sure a lot of it will come back to me, and hey, this gives me an opportunity to sew things for Baby.

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