littlest sleeping in my arms, really I should be cleaning.The house is still mostly wrecked from my week sick with the flu, at times I thought I might die. Littlest wandered the house for a day in a half with no supervision while I lay delirous on the couch. Luckily she made it through unharmed. Hubs was driving home from PA. leaving a job unfinished due to a call from me "You have to come home now!" I had the flu, the kids had a puking illness one after another. The washing machine was still broken, and had been for two weeks, the added pile of sheets, clothes, and pillows that were covered in puke did not help the situation. Hubs got home as I recovered from the flu only to come down with the puking illness that evening. He went to do local jobs and turned out not to be a great help around the house, but his ability to drive the kids to school, clean the campus, and get things from the store was a lifesaver. While sick my friends and neighbors were also a great help bringing us food and such. If I had been more coherent I would have asked someone to take the baby. Hubs came down with the puking illness after about 2 days at home knocking him out and thereby leaving some needed things undone. We did buy a new washing machine, and some things were fixed around the house.

While Hubs was laid out I planted some seeds. eggplant, tomatoes, peppers, zinias, impatience, sunflowers, and garlic and onions that sprouted in my kitchen. I am excited to see what comes of it all.






As for Hubs job, the traveling is wearing very thin on everyone and in many ways we want to call it quits and have him come home, need him to come home. Yet we are scared of being poor again and being unable to pay bills. Although even with him traveling the bills aren't always paid on time which makes me just want to yell "if we can't pay our bills anyway, just come home. I'd rather be poor with you, then poor without you!" Of course in life there are always other factors in play, such as out desire to buy a house with property. To buy a house we need to sell our house, to sell our house we need to fix it up first, to fix it up we need money, to get money we need a loan, to get a loan we need job history and proof of steady income. These things can be provided by his current job, owning your own upstart business does not provide this. So much to think about it makes my head spin and I just don't know the right answer, or I just don't want to accept the right answer. He has been traveling now for 10 months I want him home! I don't think I will be getting what I want so I just keep pushing through, keep making this work.