We've been busy. I have begun sewing again, now that my machine has been fixed by some of my very sweet friends. I opened my etsy shop with 2 items up for sale, sewed pouches for my friend and I, a skirt for littlest and shorts for my friends sons birthday. I began a monster designed by a friend of Oldests and finished up Middlest's colonial dress. Of course THAT was supposed to be for our summer road trip that is NOT happening. I really am trying not to be bitter about it and mostly I succeed but occasionally the bitterness sets in. The trip I should be on RIGHT NOW! What makes me the most angry though is the kids think it's MY fault. "Mommy canceled the trip" and "Mommy you aren't going to take away the Disney trip like you took away the road trip are you?" It is fact not my fault. I'd like to say and believe it is no one's fault, but I feel like it is Hubs fault. It was hubs who couldn't stay on top of the bills, it was hubs who assured me every time I asked doubtfully "Can we do this trip?". So I blame him, but usually I don't think on it. He felt so bad about it, and now I am in charge of bills. Two weeks in and I'm doing a pretty good job, not that two weeks is really significant at all.
The good news is he's home, for a little while and it is SO unbelievably nice to have him around. We went to the school this evening to work and prepare the campus for the start of the school year, and just working near him was nice. It's amazing how much comfort I find in being close to him. His next job takes him to Pennsylvania, and he plans on driving. Then I growl a little inside b/c it seems like he gets his road trip after all. Especially since it takes him near his friends wedding and he might stop there. I know it's silly to let this upset me, that it would make sense if his company is paying for him to go up there to stop in. I know that when they finish work for the day he is stuck in some other city with his friend (his helper is his friend) and they need to find something to do. So they play video games and occasionally even climb mountains. And see here I have snowballed from one thing to everything, I have become pissed, I have told him my thoughts and now he will spend the evening on the front porch smoking his e-cigarette and maybe talking to the neighbors. My little green monster inside is so fucking annoying. Sometimes I wish it would shut the fuck up. I don't know if I can even explain this with a semblance of subject clarity, so here we move on to something else.
As I stated the kids school starts up. Tomorrow is parent orientation and my sister will watch the girls, I have to make a brief presentation on how we will start ordering Jason's Deli food that will be delivered at lunch time to the school once or twice a week. I HATE speaking in front of groups of people and I already know I will be horribly nervous. That's going to suck, but I am looking forward to finally finding out what is probably going to happen with Middlest. Her grade level has been more unclear than Biggest's. Biggest is starting the year as a Primary 4(P-4), her group will sometimes be mixed with the Intermediate 1's(I-1's) and there is a chance, depending on where she's at, that she will be moved up to I-1. Middlest's place was just everyone saying that blank didn't want them to tell yet, but I THINK I know where she is going to be." I know they don't want to commit to a level at the end of the school year b/c sometimes the kid is on the cusp, but you know a quick "We think she's going to be Primary 1 (P-1), but she might stay in pre-primary. We will access the situation at the beginning of the year." I mean it's me, I'm not one of the high strung rich moms who wants to push her kid ahead for status reasons, I'd just like answers.
Tomorrow we go shopping for school supplies, I LOVE school supply shopping, I always have. I remember going and getting all the supplies, and then we would pour them out on the floor and divvy them up between the 5 of us, loading our backpacks and writing our names on all of our supplies. It's one of those memories that puts you right back there. I am sitting on the floor behind the recliner with my neat twisty erasers, my new pencils, the Lisa Frank folders and the trapper keeper. My sisters and brother admiring there own supplies. I fucking love it, the excitement, the promise of a new school year!
Friday they have student orientation, a half day of fun to sort of get them back in school mode, letting them meet their classmates and such. I really, really enjoyed having the kids home this summer, but about a week ago I was READY for them to go back to school.
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