The Library

Our local library has had budget cuts. Everyone has had budget cuts. I was very sad to learn that one of the programs they cut from the library down the street was baby Time. There is a very large baby population, and honestly I really enjoyed baby time, my babies enjoyed baby time, and here I am with my last little baby, so excited that she is big enough to enjoy baby time and at her very first baby time, they say this is the last one, we are cutting it. BLAAH! So they tell me, well come to toddler time we will work to whatever audience we have. YEAH! So my 8 month old and I show up, as does a preschool on a field trip. It is entirely inappropriate for a baby, and the new children's librarian sucks.

So we quietly sneak out to get books as requested by my 6 year old. Never mind the shelf full of chapter books, only half that she has read. She wants library books. Begin search, it's going okay. The baby gnaws on some of the library's board books. I angle the baby away from librarians. Despite the gnaw marks already on books, I feel like maybe this would be frowned upon. We start searching in the chapter books section and the baby pulls out books.
"Stop Baby, please!" I say as I futilely try to shelf books. She pulls more down. I shelf those. She pulls more down, you get the idea. Then she starts trying to eat the chapter books.
"Please baby don't eat that. Please just chew on this board book. let me get your sister some books." No she just cries, and wails. I have a nursing shirt on, not because I feel the need to nurse discreetly, just because my washing machine is broken. I would actually sort of like to nurse through the proper channels of this shirt, since as I said my washing machine is broken, my pants are too big and they are falling down. Now I get the concept of nursing shirts, be discreet and all, but seriously in the time it takes you to try to wrangle the two layers of fabric apart, and straighten the under layer so your belly isn't showing the baby is wailing so loudly there isn't an eye anywhere that isn't staring at you. I try anyways, but no I just can't get the stupid shirt to behave, everyone is staring and I just yank the whole damn shirt up....she won't nurse. She just yells louder. SHIT. I don't want to be here. I grab some books, I shove them in the library bag with all the books that I ordered, most of which are for a project my oldest has already done. Yes those books did not make it in time and we ended up getting all the information off of the Internet. So I set the baby down. Thank god she has stopped crying while I pull out the books we don't' need anymore, library bag on my shoulder, diaper bag------ baby falls and hits her head on the floor, wailing ensues. Could this trip really be any worse? I still have to check out though, so get baby. I have so much crap I can barely lift her, finally do. Everyone is staring? I don't know I refuse to look up, I refuse to look anyone in the eye. I check out wile singing songs to the baby. She is calm. I stop singing to answer the librarians question. "Yes I have two other girls, they are at school right now." AND baby cries. The trip from Hell. I sing, I jiggle, I dance, I bounce, I pull up my shirt and hitch up my pants. The baby latches on, I grab my bag and I get the FUCK out of there. Thank God it's over. So much for a visit to a friend afterwords. I head home and thankfully the baby falls asleep and stays asleep. I'm going to read a library book now. And if my 6 year old wants a book, damn it I will order it and have it delivered to the library so it will be sitting on the shelf with my books, same goes for the three year old, or maybe I just won't go to the library unless the baby actually takes her morning nap.